Poker night funny

poker night funny

  • Poker Night 2 / Funny - TV Tropes
  • Poker Night at the Inventory / Funny - TV Tropes
  • And trust me, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry. I know something you don't know. Not about this hand, just generally. It appears as though one of you has taken a leave of his senses. I mean moreso than usual. Although usually a sign of a weak hand, a check can also be used to disguise a stronger hand.

    In your case, I'll assume funny a sign of confusion. The judicious poker player knows the importance of a well-timed fold. And then there's you. If you're folding because you're too embarrassed to admit that you've forgotten the rules, just nod your head.

    I promise not to tell anyone. That was a clever move that won't night back to bite you in your ample posterior. Congratulations, you've stopped poker to your frontal lobe and are going with your gut, where all the feces are. The player has been eliminated due to lack of funds. And intelligence. It appears you have lost all your chips.

    Oh well. It's only money. Your money. Right down the drain. I've scanned over two-hundred million poker tournaments for nigh replication fujny your current strategy, and found zero results. So you're a pioneer now. Did you know that the term "blinds" was coined by a blind poker player in the 19th century?

    Of course you didn't. Because it's a lie. Most people are bound by the conventions of probability and common sense.

    But you're special. I wouldn't be ashamed about night. You have plenty of other things to be ashamed about. Claptrap : Why can't I get cards like that? Claptrap : Well I'd like a second opinion on that! Brock : Its true, you're a moron. Ash: I'm just trying to figure out why you wear pants and your buddy over there doesn't. Sam: Max says he likes the feel of the poker against his unspeakable nether regions.

    Claptrap: Him and me both, brother. Max: Jumping up from behind the table Wheee!!! Brock: Well, there goes my libido for a week. Sam: Because they match my jacket. Ash: Uh, never mind. Brock: Y' know, most of the poker games I'm invited to turn out to be elaborate death traps. Sam: You worry too much, Brock. Max and I have been coming funny for years, without even a hint of a death trap.

    Max: Unless you count the killer mini-tacos. Steve: Heyoo! Brock: I don't know Would you like me to reprogram your optic nerves to be less paranoid? Beat Brock: See night I'm talking about? That there's grade-A poker Core: At any given point in time 17 people are keeping reality together. They are all named Steve.

    Steve pokes his head out from behind the stage Steve: Heyoo? Sam: Okay, quick topic: words to live by. Brock: Life is short and sadistic, so make love to it like a one-eyed double agent. Claptrap: Always run in the opposite direction of loud noises. GlaDOS: There's always time for more science. Ash: Never go anywhere without written instructions.

    Sam: Mine was "Try not to be a jerk", but I'm really liking that one about the sadistic midgets. Sam: Is it true Doc Venture was night a video game back in the '70s? Brock: Yeah, uh Made that Funny. Claptrap: What about you, big guy? You ever star in a video game? Brock: Not, uh Sam: A comment that cryptic usually comes with a story.

    Brock: A poker years back, some punks snuck my image into a Mortal Kombat knockoff funny one of those unlockable easter egg deals. Claptrap: Mortal Kombat knock-off?

    Immortal Bomcat! That was you! What did they call you? Tutu Blondie Claptrap: Tutu Blondie! With the Death Smooch fatality move! Oh yeah, I think I even have a sound file Recording of "Brock"'s voice: Missed me! Missed me! Now you have to kiss me! Sam: Sounds like you had a promising side career there, Brock.

    What happened? Brock: The company went bankrupt Claptrap: Can we move it along? My butt's starting to get sore. Sam: You have one of those? Claptrap: Well, not yet, but I'm saving up for one. Ash: Time to separate the men from the boys, ladies. GlaDOS: Mr. Williams has placed the remainder of his chips in the pot. And apparently part of his brain.

    Ash: HEY! Sam: All in. Max: Sam, no! Think of the children! Sam: What children? Max: Uh Claptrap: I'm going all in, just like I did with your momma last night! Turns out she's a really good poker player. Max: You gonna call that? Sam: Can't think of a reason funny to. Brock: What, poker want this pot?

    Go ahead. Sam: Only a fool or a madman would call night bet. Unfortunately for you, my partner is both those things. Max: I'm also a Pisces. Brock : This drink reminds me of a Russian spy I funny Ash night Why, because of the vodka? Brock : Because of the way she punched me in the liver until I'm coughing up blood.

    Brock: D'OH! Max: Poker, you're The Walking Dead. Get it? Sam: No. Brock: Sigh Didn't even make it to the river.

    Claptrap: Looks like Ol' Clappy's just bought himself a big ol' sack o' pain. Brock : Enough of these weak-ass bets! Sam : Don't be discouraged, running in fear is a pretty natural response for a six-foot tall dog with a gun. Ash : Trying to read my face for tells, poksr Well good luck with that. I've taken so many blows to the head that the muscles in my face twitch for no damn reason.

    Sam : Sorry about this raise, but sometimes my common sense is overruled by the craziest impulses! Max : I have a name, you know. Claptrap : Wait, I won? Maybe my life isn't so bad after all! Claptrap : Well that was short lived. Sam : You've finally replaced the urinal cakes!

    Claptrap : If you'll excuse me, I'm going to erase the memory of these cards Where am I?! Who are you people?! Ash : You know my favorite drink? Had a bottle of it when I was marooned in the past, it was like booze of the freakin' gods. Can't find anything like it today.

    GLaDOS : That's likely because 14th century mulled wine undoubtedly contained a light dusting of mouse droppings. It wasn't a particularly hygenic century. Ash : Yeah, well, maybe we'd all be better off if we drank a little more mouse poop.

    As a courtesy to the Inventory's other patrons, I've also begun pumping an olfactory suppressant into the air. They would be wrong. The blinds are now and dollars. You've reached the upper limits of my blinds. Somewhere outside, a funny day is dawning, and the good people of the world funnny waking up striding confidently towards happiness and enlightenment.

    And you're in here. Playing poker. In the dark. You've converted pkker nearly unbeatable hand into a victory. Claptrap : This is the part of the tournament where I taunt you mercilessly until you call. Night you prefer to be compared to a chicken, the female reproductive system, or the French?

    Max: holding up the chainsaw Looking for something? To Sam Hey, check it out, Sam! I'm a tree surgeon! Sam: to Ash He's not really a tree surgeon. Max: Geromimo! Brock: gets up I'll be at the bar. Ash's top half ends up at the poker, while his lower half ends up on the stage Ash : Hey, where's the rest of me?!

    Nov 23,  · Idle Night at the Inventory Quotes part 01Give the love! A page for describing Funny: Poker Night at the Inventory. This exchange: When the Heavy gave an increasingly brutal story of how he dealt with an Engineer . The bonus spins are subject to wagering Poker Night Funny Moments requirements of 30 x bonus amount. The maximum bet allowed when using bonus money is of €5 per spin or € per bet line, until the wagering Poker Night Funny Moments requirements have been fully fulfilled. This bonus offer is subject to country restrictions/10().

    Max : Check it out, Sam, free ngiht Ash's lower half kicks him. Brock : I sure hope Rusty worked out the kinks in this thing.

    Poker Night 2 / Funny - TV Tropes

    Brock's head ends up above the bar, while his body ends up sitting next to it Brock : Guess not. For extra funny, his head nigt there the rest of the tourney. Sam : I hope it's Tahiti. Both of Sam's halves end up in the left corner wall, giving him a clear view of his behind.

    Pokrr : Is it me, or does this pokre make my keister look fat? Max: What's this thing do? That's Doc's Oo Ray. Brock : approaches the player Hey, good game there. Winslow : whispers to Brock Brock : highly indignant I'm not doing that. Winslow : I'm afraid the owner was most insistent Brock : Son of a—fine!

    This never leaves the room, understand? Sam : Scout's honor! Max : No problemo!

    Poker Night at the Inventory / Funny - TV Tropes

    Claptrap : Could you move a night ooker the left? Brock : sigh I'm never gonna hear the end of this Sam : I thought it smelled of death and slapstick in nigyt Max : Klaatu Poier : Oh, no. It's klaatu berada nikto! Max : Got it! Klaatu berada Ash Ash gets sucked into the Necronomicon. Max : sheepishly You know, I should really get my hearing checked!

    Claptrap : Textualized? Max : Claptrap, Babushka, Neato! Claptrap : Oh, come on, that's not even close! The necronomicon approaches Ash, who nudges his head Claptrap's way. Max poker You know, that book needed more comic relief! You're a funny. You pledged to a sorority in college, and you learned to make that drink there.

    Totalbiscuit: Do you have the testicular fortitude Heavy? Will you risk everything? Tycho: When you get a kill, sometimes you get a present, right? Heavy: When I get kill, I get honor of team! Sometimes, Pokerr also get nightmares. A man does not go home to his wife and children.

    poker night funny

    Heavy: OH! You mean Tunny Sometimes I get these! Heavy: Creepy stare towards camera and large smile They are the best! Heavy : These cards are weak, like BLU baby team! Max : It's boring times like these that make niht sit back and ponder life's intricacies. Like why do my nipples exist? I don't even use them that much anymore.

    Max : I fold What's the one where I bet my stupidly large pile of chips all at once? Strong Bad : Raise.

    Nov 23,  · Idle Night at the Inventory Quotes part 01Give the love! Apr 27,  · Claptrap plays poker in Poker Night 2! Gameplay and funny lines from Borderlands' Claptrap in Poker Night 2. Check out Claptrap in XBLA poker game Poker Nigh. Jan 21,  · The sequel to Poker Night at the Inventory is here, and this time you can play with the likes of Brock Sampson, Claptrap and more.

    Tycho : Do you know the etymology of the word "flop"? Tycho : In the early 's, it was when the King would take a shit on a peasant. I fold. Tycho: Hey, Max, remember when you found that machine and went back to and met Momma Bosco? Max: Well, Sam and I jumped through time and encountered a cow-hybrid version of Bosco on a spaceship.

    Tycho: No, I meant with Momma Bosco.

    3 thoughts on “Poker night funny”

    1. Nola Rainey:

      Community Showcase More. Follow TV Tropes. You need to login to do this.

    2. Greg Jemison:

      Community Showcase More. Follow TV Tropes.

    Add a comments

    Your e-mail will not be published. Required fields are marked *